Rebates!

So all the hashing out has been done and the gov’t has finally agreed on issuing the rebates to everyone.  Pelosi says the money will be released soon so people can get their rebates but then it said in the article I read that they would be going out in June.  Is June really SOON?

Although I still wonder where Bush is getting all this cash to dole out to 116 million people, I am glad to be getting my share.  $600.00, $1600, even more.  Hey, it’s more in my pocket (for bills mostly).  Looks like Bush is trying to leave America with at least one nice memory.

Ringo disses Reg but is just “delich” on Ray

Yet another old-time has been rocker has decided to show his diva side.  This time it was Ringo Starr.

He obliged to a taping on “Regis & Kelly” but the song he wanted to play was too long to fit in with their schedule; they asked him to cut it down to 2 1/2 minutes from the original 5 plus minutes.  Sounds reasonable to me.  But not to Ringo.  According to the AP Ringo left saying, ‘God bless and goodbye. We still love Regis.’”

Then he accepted an invite on Rachel Ray’s show (you know the one who doesn’t wash her chicken before she cooks it–yeah, that Rachel Ray).  And he’s allowed to play the ENTIRE song (probably so she could get brownie points).

Here’s what I say:  Ringo, dude, you had your season in the sun, move on.  If you were McCartney, they’d be wiping your feet.  Alas, you are just the former drummer for the former Beatles.  And guess what?  Most of us don’t give a fuck.

A senior moment

The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?  We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’

‘Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’

‘OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’

‘Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.  I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble.  So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.  Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.  The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.  Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever  seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. 

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed.  He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. 

The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing,  I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.  So, as the couple passes, he says to them, ‘Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together.   Is there some sort of secret to this?’ 

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, ‘Fifty years ago, that wasn’t an electric fence.’

SMART ASS ANSWERS

For a bit of humor….

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

He replied, “No, ma’am, they’re dead.”

*********************************************

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.  As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat, she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.” 

18-0–OFF TO THE SUPER BOWL WE GO!

Whoohoo!  The New England Patriots went on to defeat the San Diego Chargers today for their tickets to Arizona where they will take on “the other Manning” and the NY Giants.  Of course, you probably already know this unless you’ve been living in a cave…

Anyway, what I’m looking forward to most of all, other than the game itself and hopefully a positive ending to this historic New England Patriots’ season, but the Super Bowl party/birthday party we’re going to be having!  You see, ever since the NFL moved the date of the Super Bowl to the first weekend in February back in 2001, I’ve had the great opportunity to be able to celebrate my birthday either right on the day of the Super Bowl or right around the same time as the Super Bowl!  This year is no exception.

Of course it’s more special because the Pats are in it.

So congrats to both the Pats and the Giants on their wins.  On to Arizona!

It worked for Hillary…

so maybe TO thought crying would work for him.  Man, it’s just a football game.  Your team played, they lost, that’s it.  The better team won.  Get over it.

What would you do…

if you had a RIAA certified gold record that you bought on Ebay several years ago and now you wanted to get rid of it?  Would you try re-selling it on Ebay, try contacting the artist it belongs to (although it really wasn’t theirs–it’s only for their album–it’s a sales record) or try contacting the RIAA to see what you should do with it?

I only ask because this is my scenario right now.  I have a gold sales RIAA certified record, frame and all, I bought on Ebay and now I want to get rid of it.

Hill takes NH

I for one am SO glad Hillary Clinton won the Democratic primary in NH.  And who cares about McCain?

I really felt for her over the weekend when it seemed like she was giving up in a way.  See, crying does help sometimes.  I’ve always felt the Clintons were very personable people.  Bill used to jog to McDonald’s and chat with other customers.  And having Bill in her corner gives Hill something the other candidates don’t have–a former Prez supporting them.

I’m very supportive of Hill becoming the new Prez.  But one thing I’ve been thinking about–what kind of state would this country be in with a menopausal president?

Obama & Huckabee take Iowa

It seems that Obama and the fresh-out-of-the-wood-work-Huckabee have taken the Iowa caucus.  Okay.  Well, this seems kind of –boring to me, I guess.  Could you imagine if it came down to these two winning the primaries?  YAWN!  Thank GOD there’s 49 more states to go! 

I have a strong feeling about Hill in NH…she’s got good connections there.  If Romney doesn’t take NH, he’s in big doo-doo.  And it looks like Guiliani could be off the political map altogether.

Well, it’s going to be an interesting race, isn’t it?